cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
