How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
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