ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
