he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
