porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
