We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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