Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
