Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
