I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
