We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
