I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
