I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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