you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
