So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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