She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
