I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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