the condom got lost in my hair
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
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You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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