you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
