So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
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All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
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I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize