Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
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Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
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He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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