Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
