Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
