Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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