Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
