come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
