He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
