Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
