Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
