He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
