hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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