we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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