Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I puked a lego.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
