I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Acid is not a monday night drug
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
