pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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