I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
