Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
