do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
