i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
