I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
