I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
