Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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