I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
