i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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