Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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