Kiss
Puke
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
