Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
