I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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