I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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