You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
