Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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