My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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