I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
