I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
