i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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