girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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