Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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