he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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