This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
