Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
