honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It's no shave November. This is our time.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
