i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
