After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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