I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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