we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
