I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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