come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
