Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
