Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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