ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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