my sisters under your porch take her home
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize