We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
